# Book Notes: Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday #readingstatus/read Kindle Highlights: None | Legend | |:--------------------------------------------------:| | *text in italics are my thoughts/reflections* | | normal text like this are notes as I read the book | ## Page 250 > [!quote] > We are told the story of a Roman knight named Pastor whose young and popular son was sent to prison by Caligula for some manufactured offense. Pastor attempted to intervene on his son's behalf, and so for the cruel spite of it, Caligula ordered the boy's execution. > > To torture him further, Caligula then asked the man to dinner the night of his son's death - an invitation the man could not refuse. > > What did Pastor do? What could he do? > He showed up. > > But he refused to betray even a hint of his suffering or rage. Caligula toasted to his health and the man drained his cup to the last drop. The emperor passed down some gifts and he accepted them. We can imagine Pastor sitting there, surrounded as he was by laughter and people, feeling the loneliest and saddest and angriest man in the world. Yet he shed no tears, uttered no harsh words, and otherwise acted as if his beloved boy had been spared from this act of capricious cruelty. > > How could he do this? To endure a loss is one thing. But to stand there as the knife is twisted, twisted for the pleasure of a cruel, deranged monster? To keep down food at the table of a murderer, to drink with perfect self-control when you want to retch and scream? Who could stand it? > > Had he just gone numb? Was Pastor an unfeeling brute? Was he broken in spirit, bereft of courage? > > No, the answer is much simpler than all that: *He had another son*. > > His poise could not fail him, lest he fail his children. And so he didn't. Drawing on unspeakable, incomprehensible strength and dignity, he made it through -- he kept his family safe. > > We need to understand that temperance is more than just being mild or calm in stressful situations. It's more than just putting up with the occasional criticism or keeping some of your urges in check. > > Sometimes it's having the strength to not do the thing you want to do more than anything else in the world. It's hilding back the most natural and understandable and forgivable feelings in the world: taking it personally. Running away. Breaking down. Locking up in fear. Celebrating with joy. Cursing in anger. ==Exacting retribution==. > > ==To indulge these passions would be to give your opponents exactly what they want==, or worse, to harm an innocent person. ## --- To have a conversation with me about this note, email me at [email protected] To understand why I chose to use email over comments, [[Why I'm using email instead of comments|read this]]. |