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related: [[2023-08-09]]
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# Happy 58th National Day, Singapore
![[Pasted image 20230809234523.png]]
I have a restless relationship with Singapore.
*I love her but there are moments when I know she can't love me back - that she has responsibilities to a few million other people and so my place is never guaranteed. I feel like I constantly have to prove myself worthy/worthwhile just like how she's constantly having to prove herself to the rest of the world.*
In those moments,
*I feel so incredibly insecure - that perhaps one day I would be discarded for no longer having any utility.
I feel like I must secure a future for myself beyond this geographical border.
I feel like I must see myself a global citizen more than anything.*
Then I catch myself,
*Here I learnt the value of hard work - useful for when I compete against others and I need to grind.
Here I learnt how to be a soldier - and in doing so, learnt that one's sovereignty is, at the end of the day, only upheld by the laws of physics and the grit of people.
Here I am in possession of a passport that allows me to go to almost anywhere on the planet - itself the result of the hard work of countless Singaporeans over the decades
Here I gained the perspectives of people who come from all over the world - people who, if you speak to them, will bring you the lens with which they view the world.
Here I got to work with people from all over the world - because the Singapore 'brand' comes with so much trust
Here I made my lifelong friends - some of whom I have know for so long, that I cannot imagine my Life without them
Here I experienced heartbreak - and learnt that all hearts are broken in some way. Just pick up the pieces, grieve and try to remain optimistic about Life.
Here I learnt the importance of pragmatism - that Life doesn't stop just because there's a cloud raining over your head*
In those moments,
*I'm reminded that this is Home.
and like all homes we are born into,
its purpose is to keep me safe and prepare me to take on the world - to help her take on the world.*
In those moments,
*I'm reminded that Home is not just about shelter and skills.
It's also about company - the family, the friends, the random strangers you cross paths with.
The shared struggle and growth is what makes the journey and lived Life meaningful - it's our chance to continue writing our own histories,*
I know the privileges we have today were built upon the backs of many other Singaporeans.
I know that many continue to work hard to maintain and grow this country.
I know the world is getting more complex and is scary and maybe no one really has the answer to the problems we're facing (and will face)
But I know I'm surrounded by people from all walks of Life who are doing their best
For themselves and
For each other
And for all that, I'm grateful.
**Happy 58th National Day, Singapore.**
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