# We are in a state of constant regression It dawned on me that we are in a constant state of regression - at first in certain parts of our life until, eventually, all parts of our life. Let me explain. At birth, we must immediately contend with the most basic of regressions (one that we must deal with for the rest of our lives) - physiology. If any point we don't get enough food or water, our bodily functions deteriorate and we die. But then Life isn't just about sustaining our bodily functions so we start to learn new things, apply ourselves, etc. And as we apply ourselves and acquire new knowledge, our capabilities grow. ## **For the First 20 years of my Life** *On Knowledge and Capabilities:* For much of the first 20 years of my Life, I spent my time in formal educational institutions where I learnt a lot about the arts and sciences. I picked up programming when I was 13 and was particularly proud of my Math abilities. In this phase, what started 0 knowledge and 0 ability, I gathered knowledge, learnt how to do basically applications of it. The rate of me accumulating knowledge and ability far exceeded the rate of regression. *Fitness:* I also spent a decent amount of time 'getting fit' during that time. At first it was because I wanted to pursue a career in the military and figured physical fitness was going to be important. And fitness became an even larger part of my Life when I eventually had to serve my National Service obligations. You could say that my body was also growing and gaining capabilities at a rate that far exceeded its rate of regression. *Social Health:* Between spending time in various schools, being in the army and starting my first startup, I built up a healthy social circle. I was accumulating 'friends' and we all had enough time to keep clocking 'social points' (akin to The Sims) ## **Life in my 20s** *On Knowledge and Capabilities:* Here I was fresh in the industry, still very energetic and was getting many opportunities to apply my knowledge in the real world. What was just knowledge started to accrue experience as well. There was never a shortage of challenges which meant that I was constantly having to apply and reapply myself to various situations. In this area I was still growing at a rate that far exceeded regression but I could already tell by the late 20s where my knowledge was regressing - in my math abilities. While programming and engineering problems generally got me to look at things systemically and systematically, my knowledge of advanced calculus and trigonometry wasn't stuff that I had to apply very much. By the late 20s, much of that had already been forgotten and while the concepts would look recognisable, I had already lost my ability to apply it (without having to go for a refresher). *Fitness:* Here I think I plateau-ed. After I was done with my university experience, I quickly immersed myself in work founding a startup and I simply ignored fitness demands with the exception of whatever was mandated by the National Service tests. I did the occasional run and static exercises but they were more for mental catharsis from the stresses of work than for fitness per se. During this phase, I had probably been working enough to keep my body from regressing fitness-wise. *Social Health:* Everyone was at the beginning of their professional journeys and between work and play, many people were able to make time to meet and get into engaging and meaning conversations. There was also a lot of collaboration because it was most helpful for everyone who was starting out. This category was definitely growing faster during this phase than it was in decline *(Up until this point growth across all dimensions have been accelerating so it was not possible to really notice whether anything was in regression by default. It would be in my 30s that regression as a default state became a lot clearer)* ## **Life in my 30s** *On Knowledge and Capabilities:* 30s is when you've gotten into the groove with most things and people work with you because they want you to apply expertise that you're already known to be good at. By my mid-30s, I found myself not particularly acquiring opportunities that gave new challenges - it was just more of the same. This meant that knowledge and capabilities acquisition had to be more self-directed and purposefully sought out. I'm not sure if this is because I've largely been self-employed as opposed to working in a corporate setting where one would be pushed up the ladder into new responsibilities and challenges but either way, it meant that because I wasn't acquiring new knowledge and capabilities WHILE I worked, I was now entering the zone where my rate of acquiring new knowledge and capabilities was decelerating significantly. Was I in net regression? no. But I was constantly feeling like I was left behind as new knowledge was being created and I couldn't keep pace **Took the pedal off, got left behind** *Fitness:* If I was neglecting my health by my late 20s, I got even worse in my 30s. Having completed by reservist obligations, I was freeed from the need to take the annual fitness tests and that led to me simply not exercising. My weight ballooned and my strength and agility decreased. This was very obvious as I tracked my weight and noticed that it absolutely grew starting the very year completed my reservist duties. It showed me that, all other things kept the same, my muscles simply regressed because I wasn't using them enough. **Took the pedal off, got fat and weak** *Social Health:* my 30s is when my peers got married, got kids, made major life decisions like moving to another country, etc I'm a firm believer that all relationships (friendships, family, etc) take work to maintain/thrive and so in competition with all these other obligations, I found my social circle shrinking - sometimes because the other party has to prioritise other people and sometimes I had to prioritise other people in my life over them. The net effect here is that my friend circle shrunk by a lot the moment we lifted our foot off the social pedal. The upside for me though is that I have a small circle of friends with whom we make a very concerted effort to keep in touch so while my circle has shrunk, the circle that remains are people with whom I have a lot of trust with. (*Related note: I make sure I prioritise the friendships that are important by carving out deliberate spaces for them. One example is my [[Telegram Folder Organisation System]] where I make sure chats from the people who matter don't get lost in the stream of other stuff*) **Took the pedal off, people moved on** ## Other Random Observations & Thoughts - As I observe my grandparents, parents and folks older than me in general, I notice that as they exercise less of some parts of the mental faculty, they too quickly lose their ability to use it effectively/efficiently. Things like not wanting to try new things (something they would have had to do throughout their working lives) suddenly meant they didn't know and couldn't even begin to figure out how to start to figure it out. - As the same people above socialised less, they started to lose their sense of society - even if they were sociable in the past, now they were out of touch with social etiquette (maybe that's why it's observed that the elderly tend to not 'give a fuck' about others) - Along the same grain although more macro: The moment you take your foot off the income pedal, you immediately lose money to inflation. You're always losing money and one reason to keep working it to hopefully earn and outpace inflation and pace of expenditure. - Past couple of years I took the pedal of working as I went on a break to explore new things. With it being impossible to have $0 lifestyle, I've had to live off existing funds which means... yup, you guessed it... **took the pedal off, moneypot shrunk** (even more so because the economy is crap at the time writing this) - Just like The Sims, you sleep to regain energy. The moment you wake up, you're on your path to sleepiness again. haha - You grow up accumulating stuff and capabilities and at some point in old age, you start losing the material posessions and bodily abilities. 0 to 1 and back to 0. I guess this all means... from the day we are born we're dying. And all our lives we get to curate the conditions of our departure. --- Related: